Autobiography part a million

A little secret about teacher school: you spend A LOT of time talking and thinking and writing and talking more about YOURSELF. Not about school or students or teaching - just you.

I have a "teaching autobiography" due tomorrow. I'm not entirely sure what that is. I read two articles that were about the importance of writing teaching autobiographies, but neither really bothered to go into the mechanics of one. From what I can gather, you pretty much just spill your guts about EVERYTHING that might affect how you teach - your background, beliefs, political leanings, earliest learning and teaching experiences, inspirations, anti-inspirations, ETC.

Because my poor computer is full to the point of lethargy these days, I have decided to write said autobiography here and allow the internets to worry about saving it. I think I am going to present it as a mobile, so if it looks a little piecey, just imagine it swirling around with lots of string and pretty paper. oooooh! right?

Where I'm coming from:
A Mainer who grew up in the South.
White, middle-class family that seriously values education.
Public school until high school. I loved school until 7th grade.
Middle school sucked. More on that later.
Then there was high school. I went to Brookstone School: A College Preparatory School for Boys and Girls. It was ridiculous - populated by the landed gentry of the south - but an incredible educational experience. It was small and challenging and the teachers there cared whether you learned something and whether you were happy doing it. My freshman year of college was EASY compared to my senior year of high school. We had no classroom management. No discipline - it just didn't seem necessary (until my junior year there was Brookstone Hunt Club that asked kids to bring their guns to school). We were given a lot of freedom and frequently were treated like responsible adults - kind of college-lite. Going there was probably the best thing, life-course-changing-wise, that has ever happened to me.
I'm a Liberal and a sociology major. I'm sure that sort of thing will affect my classroom approach.
I'm impatient but working on it.
Thanks to the Brookstone experience (and my parents), I grew up very sheltered. I realize this. The types of things that some of my kids will be going through will probably blow my little mind. We'll see.

Why am I here?
This one is messy.

Nieto writes that many excellent teachers are also activists. I have felt, for much of my life, like an activist without a cause. I wanted to do good, to impact the world for the better, but have never really found what felt like the right channel for me to do so. I've been a tutor, a Habitat for Humanity builder, a 4H member, a visitor to various old folks' homes, a camp counselor - and I liked all those things and thought that they were the right thing to do at the time, but they didn't feel like my LIFE. A once-a-week meeting, no matter how anticipated or successful, is not a CAUSE. It is just a step.
A step to what? Why did I do those things? I guess the greater impetus, and this is going to sound dumb, was to just BE GOOD - to make life a little bit better or easier or happier for those who could use the help. A lot of what I did happened to be (and happens to be) education-focused because that's what I'm good at - that's what I have to offer.

There are other reasons why I'm here. I cried every day on the way to middle school because I hated it and felt so alone and bored and just weird because that's how middle school makes you feel. Middle school should not be a purgatory - it's hard enough being thirteen. Kids that age need teachers - note baby-sitters - who care about them and push them and realize that they are in a weird life place. I think I can do that.

I love school. There is no place I'd rather be, and I want others to feel that way.

I want to be a TC in particular because it seems very aware of and invested in its community. I wanted - needed - to go somewhere that would adequately train me to teach where good teachers are most needed.

What I want to be
I have spent a ridiculous number of hours trying to plot my "Teacher Persona" for the classroom. Will I be tough? Kind? Funny? Scary? Crazy? Will I be able to control it at all? I don't know. But I do have some models.
My mom is a first grade teacher. She is kind and patient and very good at keeping a sense of humor.
I want to make myself as warm and inviting as Yolanda Sealey-Ruiz. She made those of us in her writing class last semester feel like we were her favorite, smartest, most special class ever. It was incredible and so encouraging.
I want to be sharp and well-traveled and a little bit kooky like Mrs. Khazaeli, my 9th grade English teacher. She told me to be a writer, and she had us all convinced that she could do witchcraft.
I want to have the energy of Mr. Davis, my history teacher, and Mr. East, another English teacher. It was impossible not to be excited in their classes.
I want to be as lovable and terrifying a the same time as Mrs. Livengood, my European history teacher. I think it would help to be 6 feet tall and built like a linebacker with flaming red hair. And be a genius. And have incredibly high expectations. And be like a mom (a gossipy one) to everyone.
And even before I knew I wanted to be a teacher, I knew I wanted to be like Kate Slevin, my college adviser. She was smart and funny and dry and no-nonsense, and she could have been so intimidating, but instead, she was the only college professor whose class I ever willfully spoke in. She had a way of drawing me out. I still don't know how she did it, but she helped me shine. I need to learn that trick.

I had a whole other section planned out for what I don't want to be, but I decided not to dwell on the negative because I certainly don't want to be that.

Moving forward
I start student teaching tomorrow. My billion questions are sure to multiple as soon as I get int o the classroom. For now, I'm just going to do my best, take lots of notes, listen to anyone who will take the time to talk to me (including students), and try to build a little bit more of myself as a teacher every day.