Getting oriented

Today, I had to go up to school at 8 in the morning for orientation. Of course, they didn't call it "orientation" - how boring! how bland! - what I attended this morning was THE NEW STUDENT EXPERIENCE, conveniently referred to only by its initials on every TC Web site. It took me about a month to figure out what NSE was and why I should probably care about it.

And boy, am I glad I took the time to decipher TC's evil online code. I totally experienced everything I could possibly need to experience as a new student today. There were talks and important people and lunch and the awkwardness of attending lunch without knowing anyone. Wheeee!

I had been dreading orientation for a while, and not just for its early start time. I had figured (rightly) that orientation here would not be like my undergraduate NEW STUDENT EXPERIENCE. Unlike undergraduate orientation, which consisted mostly of standing in circles on the grass and saying each others' names over and over, TC orientation was all business: sign in, get a dorky bag with the school's name on it and some branded literature inside, watch a keynote/welcome from the president, and then break out into concurrent sessions, with a break for lonely lunch. I've had this EXPERIENCE before, only last time it was called "DMA '08" or "MeritDirect List Expo" or some other business conference from my previous life.

It wasn't all bad. I managed to sit next to someone who, in spite of my generally unpleasant demeanor and horrific coffee breath, could not stop talking to me. Instafriend. The talk given specifically to Teaching of English students (of which, holy crap, there are a lot) was helpful, and it was nice to have all the professors in the department introduce themselves, although it had the nasty effect of making me fall in love with pretty much all of them, meaning, sorry Mom and Dad, but I might just try to stay there forever.

The main thing I learned during all these special sessions is that I am more anal retentive and control-freakish than about 42% of my TC classmates. We were all told, upon acceptance, that everything -- registration, student teaching, getting an adviser, figuring out our lives -- would be taken care of at orientation. When I heard this foolishness, I immediately began calling and e-mailing everyone in my department, the admissions office and the financial aid office, demanding that someone help me take care of these essentials AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

My first class is Thursday. I have reading due. If I had waited until today to get everything together, well, I certainly would not be sitting at home eating jelly beans and writing in this blog right now. I would be having a conniption fit over how I'm supposed to get everything done on time (although being unemployed would probably help in this situation). I was shocked by how many people 1) had not taken it upon themselves to get registered before everyone else. Isn't Columbia supposed to be a school for over-achievers? and 2) Did not have a conniption fit when told that, because they followed instructions, they were pretty much screwed as far as registration goes.

While I appreciate their calm, and see how it will one day help them become great teachers, I have to wonder about these people. Our sassy little admissions director specifically said the school was looking for thought leaders and game changers. What kind of thought leader gets into school and then doesn't even try to figure out which classes they ought to be taking before the week that classes actually start? I did all my work ahead of time, and I was so stressed about everyone else that I had to skip the afternoon sessions.